puckandpie | time to talk [dated to 1/13/2016]

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derek

time to talk [dated to 1/13/2016]

It's that quiet time of night, the last half hour or so after Derek's already booted out the last of the stragglers and the few employees left over are all silently cleaning up so we can head out as quickly as possible. We don't need that many hands for closing, to be honest, just one or two in the front to take care of the tables and floors and me in the back to clean up the kitchen. So I'm really not surprised at all when I push open the kitchen door to find only Derek finishing up with the bar in front.

I already have my coat on -- the leather one Derek got me for Christmas because it fits me so, so well -- and am looking forward to the quiet walk home. After hours and hours of forcing smiles and chipper conversation, it'll be nice to not have to pretend for awhile.

Derek's back is to me and I let myself watch him for only a moment or two before heading for the door. I know he can both hear and smell me so, as much as I'd maybe like to, it's not like I can just sneak out.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Hale," I say, hoping there's enough of a teasing lilt still left in my voice as I reach for the door.

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I stay quiet as Derek flips off the lights and locks up, my hands buried in the pockets of my coat. It's barely cold enough to see my breath, but I watch the faint mist all the same until we're on our way.

We've still hardly said a word by the time we get to Derek's apartment and I slip out of my coat after he's taken off his own, hanging it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs before standing awkwardly next to it.

"That sounds good," I tell him, hesitating another second before toeing off my shoes and setting them near the front door. Whatever buzz I might have had from the beer back at Semele's is long gone and I take a careful seat on the far cushion of his couch. A moment later, Jinx jumps up to join me, stepping right into my lap and curling up. Despite myself, I smile down at her, petting a hand down her dark fur.

"I need to introduce you to Elvis," I say to her, scritching lightly under her chin. "Do you promise to be nice to him? He's still mostly a kitten and could do with a good influence."

Having Bitty be so quiet is a little strange. Derek is used to him talking all the time, to filling the silence with his charming southern twang. But now he's so subdued, and Derek isn't sure what to do.

Hes in the kitchen fixing their sandwiches when he hears him talking to Jinx, and he looks up to watch them interact. Her black fur and the smile on Bitty's face give him an idea, and he straightens a little as he thinks about it. Yeah, that might work.

"She could use someone to be the boss of," Derek says as he comes over with a tray. On it sits two sandwiches and a plate of chips, along with two bottles of water. He sits down next to Bitty and Jinx immediately sits up, paws up on Bitty's thigh as she sniffs. Derek rolls his eyes and picks up the piece of meat he set aside for her, handing it over. She takes it and goes over to her bed in the corner, munching on it with happy little growls.

"Eat up," he says, handing one of the plates over. "You should crash here. It's late and I have something I want to show you tomorrow."

Jinx's paws are two little points of pressure on my thigh and I have to tense up a little so it doesn't hurt so much. She leans forward to sniff at the meat and then grabs and runs off with it and it's hard not to laugh a little at the happy sounds she makes.

Though I stop abruptly when Derek speaks again, fumbling halfway through opening one of the water bottles.

"Oh, uh. It's. I mean, I've been out later than this before," I tell him before taking a quick sip and then keeping my eyes turned away as I grab one of the plates off the tray and set it in my lap. I'm certainly not scared to spend a night in Derek's apartment, but something about it feels... it feels like too much right now. I need to get over this, get over how I feel, and I can't do that by sleeping on a couch that smells so much like him and waking up to him cooking breakfast like some sort of domestic dream I'll never have.

I take a bite from my sandwich and of course it's delicious. I hide my chewing behind my hand, swallowing before I add, "What is it you want to show me? I can come in early tomorrow if you want?"

"It isn't work related," Derek says, shaking his head a bit and picking up his sandwich. "You can just take the spare room."

It was hard at first to refer to Stiles' old room as the spare room, but that's what it is now. Kate boxed everything up and washed the bedding after Stiles disappeared, leaving the windows open. It doesn't even smell like him anymore, not after all this time. It's just an extra room.

"And then in the morning we'll go do the thing," he says, taking a huge bite of his sandwich. Once he swallows, he cuts Bitty a look. "It's a surprise thing."

My eyes drag over to the door of the room he's talking about and I honestly don't know if that would be better or worse than just sleeping on his couch. At the very least, it shouldn't smell so much like him. And it would be nice to not spend a night completely alone for once, even if there will be a wall separating us.

I glance back at Derek then and hesitate before taking another bite of my sandwich. "Surprise thing," I repeat, wondering what exactly that means. I don't have a single clue what it could be, but I narrow my eyes, trying for playful as I ask, "Is it manual labor? Help with the food truck? Is Helen taking the day off?"

"You caught me. I need help chopping wood," Derek says with a laugh, shaking his head a bit and looking over at him. "No, you'll like it, I think. But I'm not telling you what it is."

He reaches for a chip and pops it into his mouth, and then gives another one to the puff when it rolls over and squeaks. "I'm mysterious like that."

He laughs and it's a nice sound. It always is. Seeing Derek like this, relaxed and warm and happy, is my favorite thing. And that should be enough, I think. Just seeing him happy. It really is selfish to want anything more than that.

Just wish I could convince the stupid ache in my chest though.

"Yes, very mysterious," I confirm, trying for my most teasing smile, before I take another bite of my sandwich, chewing and swallowing it quickly. "It's a good thing I trust you, you know."

"It is a good thing," Derek says, sounding entirely sincere. He is glad that Bitty trusts him, very much so.

He wipes some mustard from the corner of his mouth and rolls his eyes when Jinx comes back over, meowing pitifully. He just stares at her, and she huffs and flops onto her side.

"So it's settled," Derek says with a decisive nod. "It'll be fun."

I keep eating my sandwich, smiling a little when Jinx wanders back over to beg for some more scraps before giving up with a put-upon sigh, collapsing onto her side at our feet.

"Okay," I agree because I still have no idea what he has in mind, but I know I can trust him. It'll be fun, whatever it is. Maybe fun enough to pull me out of from under this cloud for a few minutes. I'm still not sure how I feel about staying in his apartment over night, but I'm not sure I can get out of it without telling him everything. He can detect when I'm lying.

So instead I just paste on another smile and take a deep breath. "Will I need my skates?" I ask, and it's possible I may be trying to find out exactly what it is he has in mind.

"Nope, and stop fishing," Derek says with a laugh, finishing his sandwich and wiping his fingers on a napkin. He knocks back the rest of his water and stands up, reaching over to grip Bitty's shoulder for a moment. "I'm heading to bed. Help yourself to anything you need. The spare room is all set up."

He stretches and then reaches down to scoop up the puff, and then sets it on Bitty's shoulder. "Here, the puff can keep you company."

He's finished his sandwich and water in no time and I'm just finishing mine when he stands up with a heavy breath and rests one warm hand on my shoulder. It seems abrupt, a little like he's trying to be done with the night and I can't say I blame him. I wouldn't want to deal with me and my current mood either -- I mean, there's a reason I've just been keeping to myself lately.

"Oh," I say, blinking stupidly for a second before nodding quickly. "Yeah, okay. Thank you,"

He sets the little puff on my shoulder then and it burrows against my neck, soft and fluffy. It's nice and I'm glad for the little bit of comfort it can provide. "I'll see you in the morning, then," I tell him.

Unless I decide to leave in the middle of the night which, despite whatever fun thing Derek has planned, sounds appealing. Except then I imagine he'd only find away to blame himself for my cowardice and know I won't go through with it.

"Sleep well. I'll head in here real soon myself so I promise I won't keep you up."

"Don't worry about it," Derek says kindly, not wanting it to seem like he's brushing Bitty off. "But we do have a big day tomorrow, so get some rest. Night."

He heads into his room with Jinx in tow, and shuts the door gently. Tucked away carefully in his closet is the gift he was given by Magnus but Christmas, and he smiles to himself as he gets ready for bed.

This is going to be a good day.

"Goodnight," I tell him, watching as he disappears into his room, shutting the door behind him. It's hard not to remember being on the other side of that door, hard to forget how terrified I'd been at the time, but comforted, too.

Hard to forget that one night we'd spent under the covers, the night I realized just how much I cared about him.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

As promised, I clean off my plate and finish my water, careful to work as quietly as possible. The guest room is all made up, just as he'd said and slip out of my jeans and socks, folding both and resting them atop the foot of the bed before sliding between the covers. The sheets, thankfully, don't really smell like him, and the mattress is comfortable. I curl up tight as I can and close my eyes and hope, hope, hope I can fall asleep quickly.

Derek wakes up feeling excited, and he's smiling when he gets out of bed. He gets dressed and fixes his hair before going over to the closet and getting the potion out. He pours one shot of it into a little vial, closing it up tight before slipping it into his pocket and replacing the rest.

He whips up a quick breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast, and coffee, and then goes to knock on the door to the spare room. "Rise and shine, Bitty. Breakfast's ready."

Someone's knocking at my door. It's faint, almost polite, and then I hear Derek's voice and smell the unmistakeable scent of bacon and coffee. Still half-asleep, it takes me a few more seconds to remember where I am and why I'm here.

"I'm coming, hang on," I manage finally, wiping at my eyes as I sit up.

I quickly tug up the sheets and the comforter, trying to make the bed as well as I can before stepping into the jeans I'd folded up the night before. I feel a little grimy for wearing the same outfit as yesterday, but it's not like Derek gave me any advanced warning so I can only hope it doesn't find it too disgusting.

Not that it really matters anyway.

I run a hand through my hair, cringing when I realize it's standing up about every which way, before sighing and opening the door. "It smells amazing," I tell him because it does. And because he doesn't deserve to start off his day dealing with my cloud.

Derek smirks as Bitty emerges from the hall, sleepy eyed and yawning. "Hello, sunshine."

He sets down a plate of food and a mug of coffee on the dining room table, and then brings over his own food and sits across from him. He's perky and obviously excited, and he smiles as he grabs the salt for his eggs. "Come on, eat up. Big day."

Derek looks far too cheerful for this time of the morning and, for a startling second, I'm reminded of Jack. Though Jack never really smiled before the morning checking practices; he was more... authoritatively resigned. But still always much, much more awake than I ever was.

Grumbling a hello, I duck into the bathroom for a second to pee and cringe again when I see the actual state of my hair in the mirror. With wet hands this time, I try to tame the more annoying cowlicks before giving up and joining Derek in the kitchen.

"So it is manual labor," I reply, dropping into the seat across from him. My stomach grumbles at the mere sight of the eggs and bacon and I waste no time in grabbing my fork and digging in. "You're trying to bribe me right now, I get it." I'm joking, of course. There's absolutely nothing Derek couldn't do on his own when it comes to lifting and carrying things. And, even if he did need an extra pair of hands, it's not likely he'd pick me for it. I like to think that I'm pretty strong -- I mean, I am an athlete -- but most other people just see me as small and slight and leave it there.

"Chopping wood and moving tractor tires," Derek says with a nod, shooting Bitty a sly grin. He takes a few bites of eggs, and then picks up a piece of bacon and tears it in half.

He looks at Bitty and tries to imagine what he might look like as a wolf, if his fur will be golden like his hair. He's looking forward to finding out, if that's what Bitty wants.

"I knew I should've escaped while I had the chance," I say, throwing him a small grin as I dig into my eggs. I'm trying. I really am. And the way he's smiling back at me makes me think I'm mostly succeeding. Either that or he's just being nice enough to not point out how much I'm failing.

The eggs, as expected, are delicious. As is the bacon, of course. I eat everything in minutes, grateful that shoveling food into my mouth gives me an excuse to not try to fill the silence with anything stupid.

Derek laughs at that, and then stands up when they're done eating. He takes their plates and puts them in the sink before clapping his hands together, turning around and grabbing their jackets, handing Bitty's over. "Time to go."

There's no dallying once we're both done eating; Derek grabs our plates and drops them in the sink and grabs our coats. It's starting to feel like we're on a timetable, which only makes me wonder more. Maybe it's a movie? Or some kind of performance with a set time?

I don't ask though, just take my coat and slip into it before nodding at him. "Alright, Mr. Mystery. Lead the way."

Derek chuckles and gives Jinx a scratch behind the ears before ushering Bitty out into the hall and locking the door behind them. He slips his keys into the pocket of his coat, and then pats his jeans pocket to make sure that the little plastic container is still there.

“We’re heading out towards the cabin,” Derek offers as they make their way outside. It’s cool, but it isn’t freezing, and if all goes well they’ll both be warm enough. It’s early enough that the park is still pretty empty aside from the morning joggers, and Derek looks over his shoulder at Bitty, grinning slyly before disappearing into the trees. “Keep up, pup.”

"You're lucky I'm even awake right now," I say, following him out into the into the woods, stepping over fallen sticks and piles of sodden leaves along the way. "I'm keeping up as well as I can considering I haven't had nearly enough coffee yet this morning and it's about an hour before I normally get up. I'm a growing boy, you know. I need my rest!"

Derek's clearly excited about wherever it is we're going, several feet ahead of me as we tramp through the leaves. "What's at your cabin?" I ask him because I've been there before already. More than once. I don't remember anything in or around it that's all that extraordinary.

“Bitch, bitch, bitch,” Derek teases. He probably could have let Bitty sleep in more, but he was too excited. And he doubts Bitty will be complaining once he finds out why they’re out here. Well, Derek hopes that he’ll want to try. If not, they’ll turn around and go home.

Derek veers left of the trail that leads to his cabin, heading deeper into the woods instead. Soon they come upon a large clearing surrounded by tall trees, with sunbeams filtering down into the grass.

“Okay,” Derek says, turning around to face Bitty as he approaches. “Remember at Magnus’ party, how people drank potions that turned them into cats and mice?”

He’s suddenly nervous, because what if Bitty doesn’t want to do this at all? Derek had a pretty good feeling about it, but now he swallows hard, watching Bitty with wide eyes.

We take a left before reaching Derek's cabin, wandering deeper into a part of the woods I've never been before until we hit a clearing. The trees are bare, but it's so easy to picture how it looks in the summer, this wide patch of land exposed to the sunlight right in the middle of the forest. I'm sure it's beautiful.

Still, I arch an eyebrow as I follow Derek into it. "You're not gonna sacrifice me, are you?" I ask him. I'm joking, of course. I trust Derek more than anyone else here, but I still don't have a single clue what we're supposed to be doing.

But then Derek's turning to face me and he looks strangely nervous. Something about it makes my stomach flip before I can get ahold of myself and I bite my lip, keeping my hands buried in my pockets.

The reminder of Magnus's party quickly makes whatever stupid hope I'd had drift away, remembering instead how completely out of place I'd felt that night. Heck, I should've realized then that I didn't stand a chance. Not when there are so many more interesting and better-looking people here, not when Derek could have almost absolutely anybody else. I'd left the party less than an hour in, just after people starting turning into cats, but not before watching Derek flirt.

I didn't even realize he knew I was there. Somehow, that only makes me feel worse.

He's still waiting for me to respond though and I pull in a breath as I nod, frowning down at my feet. "I remember. I, uh. I didn't really stay long, but I remember the cats. That's about when I decided it was best for me and Elvis to go home."

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