time to talk [dated to 1/13/2016]

[puckandpie]

It's that quiet time of night, the last half hour or so after Derek's already booted out the last of the stragglers and the few employees left over are all silently cleaning up so we can head out as quickly as possible. We don't need that many hands for closing, to be honest, just one or two in the front to take care of the tables and floors and me in the back to clean up the kitchen. So I'm really not surprised at all when I push open the kitchen door to find only Derek finishing up with the bar in front.

I already have my coat on -- the leather one Derek got me for Christmas because it fits me so, so well -- and am looking forward to the quiet walk home. After hours and hours of forcing smiles and chipper conversation, it'll be nice to not have to pretend for awhile.

Derek's back is to me and I let myself watch him for only a moment or two before heading for the door. I know he can both hear and smell me so, as much as I'd maybe like to, it's not like I can just sneak out.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Hale," I say, hoping there's enough of a teasing lilt still left in my voice as I reach for the door.

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[triskehale]

Derek was already pretty sure that Bitty and Simon had broken up. He hasn't smelled Simon on Bitty since just before Christmas, and that along with Bitty's sullen mood was evidence enough. He's glad that Bitty's relaxed enough to tell him what's going on, and Derek gives him a sympathetic smile before reaching over to give the back of his neck a reassuring squeeze.

"There's no need to thank me. I wanted to share that with you," Derek tells him, leaving his hand on the back of Bitty's neck while they walk. "Simon's an idiot. And I know things are rough, but I also know that they'll get better. That isn't something you would have heard me say a few years ago, but it's true. They will."

[puckandpie]

Derek's hand is warm and reassuring on the back of neck, a settling sort of weight. Better yet, his words aren't pitying or condescending and I'm suddenly not sure why I didn't just tell him earlier. It's not really that I ever thought Derek would make me feel worse, but admitting to everything felt so very pathetic.

But, even if Derek doesn't see me the way I see him, I don't think he believes I'm pathetic. I guess I just have to remind myself of that sometimes.

"Simon isn't an idiot," I argue with a small Simon. I know I'm definitely right about that one, but I can't deny that Derek saying otherwise feels sorta nice. Which is awful, I know, but it does. "He's actually really very nice. We're just not right for each other, I guess. But it sure felt nice to be wanted for awhile, even if it wasn't for long." Tipping my head back, I look up at him then, my face warm but my smile hopefully even warmer. "I'm glad things are better for you now than they were a few years ago. And I'm glad... I mean, I miss home every single minute of every day, but I'm glad I met you. I'm glad I can call you my friend."

[triskehale]

Derek doesn't understand how Simon could choose Baz over Bitty, but then again, he barely knows Baz. And Bitty is, well. He's Bitty.

"You'll find someone right for you. Someone who wants you," Derek says with confidence. He's long since stopped believing that for himself, but Bitty is different. He's kind and warm and he deserves someone good.

"I'm glad that you're my friend too," he says, smiling down at him and squeezing the back of his neck again before sliding his hand down Bitty's back and letting it fall away. The trees open up and they're in the park, back to real life, and Derek places a hand on his stomach. "Are you as hungry as I am? I'm always starving after a shift."

[puckandpie]

'I want it to be you,' I narrowly manage not to say. It's right at the tip of my tongue, but after everything we've shared this morning, I'm too afraid to ruin it by either making a fool of myself or pushing Derek into an uncomfortable rejection.

He squeezes the back of my neck and I know Derek is just a tactile sort of guy and that the way his hand drags down my back doesn't really mean anything. But goodness, do I want it to. I want to reach over and take his hand, hold it the way Simon used to hold mine so easily. I think I miss that part, most of all. Just the way he'd hold my hand out in public without a care.

Luckily, the moment snaps a second later when Derek raises his hand to his stomach, patting it with a smile. "There's that burger place not too far from here," I point out, hoping my smile doesn't falter too much. "Guess you burn off a lot of calories running around without a care in the world."

[triskehale]

“Guess I must,” Derek says with a laugh. “Shifting takes up a lot of energy. I’m always starving afterward.”

He knows exactly which burger place Bitty is referring to, and Derek tosses a jovial arm around his shoulders, pulling him for a brief squeeze before letting go. It’s just been such a good day, and he can only hope that it was of some help to Bitty. He deserves to be happy. “Come on, lunch is on me.”