Derek's voice is soft and kind and he slips a finger under my chin to gently tip my face upward. I don't fight it, though my stomach does yet another unpleasant turn and I hold my breath for a moment, preparing for the pity and the gentle, 'Okay, but just this once.'
What he actually says isn't at all what I'm expecting.
I think my heart actually stops for a second.
"I really wanted you to," I confess, barely a whisper as I stare up at him. "Was it... was it just because you were feeling so terrible?" I realize as soon as I've asked that I shouldn't've. That I probably really don't want to know the answer so I shake my head. "Nevermind, that's not." I have to pause for a second. Take another breath.
"I like thinking of it that way. The delayed thing." It's certainly better than thinking he's only doing this because he feels like he has to, even if that's exactly what it is. For right now, right in this moment, I can pretend it's different. I keep my face tipped up and summon every bit of courage in my body to push up onto my toes. "Please kiss me."
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What he actually says isn't at all what I'm expecting.
I think my heart actually stops for a second.
"I really wanted you to," I confess, barely a whisper as I stare up at him. "Was it... was it just because you were feeling so terrible?" I realize as soon as I've asked that I shouldn't've. That I probably really don't want to know the answer so I shake my head. "Nevermind, that's not." I have to pause for a second. Take another breath.
"I like thinking of it that way. The delayed thing." It's certainly better than thinking he's only doing this because he feels like he has to, even if that's exactly what it is. For right now, right in this moment, I can pretend it's different. I keep my face tipped up and summon every bit of courage in my body to push up onto my toes. "Please kiss me."