He's giving me an out and I'm so, so tempted to take it. Except I have no idea what Simon's doing today and I don't want to interrupt if he has plans. Not to mention, it would take him at least an hour to get here and I don't really want to just stand here while people stare at me for that long.

"No," I finally manage after a long moment and moves still comes out a little strangled. "No, I just. I didn't want--"

Thing is, I've lied to Derek before. By omission, yes, and he was kind enough to forgive me when the truth finally came out, but I don't really like the idea of doing it again. At least not right to his face.

I have to stop again and force myself to take a breath.

"I want to kiss you," I finally manage, keeping my head ducked. I really really do not want to face either rejection or pity right now. I feel like I can barely breathe. "I've. I've wanted to. Just not like this."