Somehow, a part of me thought that I knew how this would go, how it would feel. I've done this before, and I thought it would be familiar in some way. I was so incredibly wrong. Sure, the mechanics are similar, but that's it. Everything else is entirely new. The intimacy, the sensations, the way Bittle's lips press against mine so desperately. The way he trembles underneath me. Nothing has ever, ever felt like this.

He moves his hips and it's beautiful and obscene, the way his muscles shift below his pale skin. I watch helplessly and nod, slowly dragging my finger out only to push it back in just as deep, setting up a slow rhythm and angling it up just a little, trying to make him let out that noise again. "See? It fits. I will too, someday. If you want me to. We'll just go slow like this, so slow."