preparing for diwali [dated to 11/12/2015]
Nov. 8th, 2015 10:15 pmThings have been back to normal for a couple days now. Or as normal as things ever get in Darrow, I suppose. There's sunshine now and blue skies (sometimes) and no monsters lurking behind corners or running through the streets, no horrid sirens at sundown.
For all of that, I still feel uneasy, constantly jumping at every sound and barely sleeping a wink. Derek's been nice enough to let me sleep on his couch once I discovered that I couldn't sleep in my own apartment alone. I should be embarrassed, I know, and I am, but it's an embarrassment I can handle if it means actually getting a few hours of sleep every night.
I've been baking a lot. Stress baking. Not everything has turned out great, but it's been something.
Right now, I'm on the hunt for a new hockey stick though. It's the first time I've really ventured out for longer than an hour or two at a time, but it feels important, a necessary step to returning to normal. Like I need to take back something I lost during those two weeks of terrible nightmares so I can move on.
There's a store in the mall I remember seeing a few months ago so I try there first. It's a little overwhelming being around so many people after two weeks spent in a nightmare followed by several days of basically hiding in Derek's apartment, but I force myself through the crowds, knowing that it'll all be worth it in the end. Hopefully it won't be too long before I can make it out onto the ice again and I'll definitely want to have a stick by then.
I don't quite make it to the store I came for though, distracted by the sight of Derek inside a clothing store with a girl I've never seen before. He has that sort of grumpy, unamused look on his face that I can recognize now as being not entirely genuine as she holds up a shirt against his chest and then shakes her head.
Curious, I step into the store, sliding past a rack of equally colorful shirts. "Well, fancy seeing you here," I say as I approach, giving a friendly smile to the girl. It's only then I remember exactly why Derek might be looking to buy something uncharacteristically colorful. "Oh, is this for Diwali?"
For all of that, I still feel uneasy, constantly jumping at every sound and barely sleeping a wink. Derek's been nice enough to let me sleep on his couch once I discovered that I couldn't sleep in my own apartment alone. I should be embarrassed, I know, and I am, but it's an embarrassment I can handle if it means actually getting a few hours of sleep every night.
I've been baking a lot. Stress baking. Not everything has turned out great, but it's been something.
Right now, I'm on the hunt for a new hockey stick though. It's the first time I've really ventured out for longer than an hour or two at a time, but it feels important, a necessary step to returning to normal. Like I need to take back something I lost during those two weeks of terrible nightmares so I can move on.
There's a store in the mall I remember seeing a few months ago so I try there first. It's a little overwhelming being around so many people after two weeks spent in a nightmare followed by several days of basically hiding in Derek's apartment, but I force myself through the crowds, knowing that it'll all be worth it in the end. Hopefully it won't be too long before I can make it out onto the ice again and I'll definitely want to have a stick by then.
I don't quite make it to the store I came for though, distracted by the sight of Derek inside a clothing store with a girl I've never seen before. He has that sort of grumpy, unamused look on his face that I can recognize now as being not entirely genuine as she holds up a shirt against his chest and then shakes her head.
Curious, I step into the store, sliding past a rack of equally colorful shirts. "Well, fancy seeing you here," I say as I approach, giving a friendly smile to the girl. It's only then I remember exactly why Derek might be looking to buy something uncharacteristically colorful. "Oh, is this for Diwali?"
